GOAL 1: I want to be independent and happy (Part 1)

Is that even possible??


Well i shall sum up a lil about my background...


Only daughter with 2 brothers, born in an indian family, who claims to be mordern but practises old fashioned and traditional upbringin of children, mainly girls. Being the only daughter, parents have always been very protective of me, hence life has been very restricted. Was never allowed to do things on my own, even to the point that dad would walk me to my class, even at the age of 16!



I have yet to figure out what that is, lack of trust or over protectiveness?

And now it also go as far as dad eves dropping with the other phone while i am talkin to my best friend, who is also a girl. I have never been able to have a normal relationship with my parents, like all my other friends, their parents die to have their kids treat them like a friend and not a parent, i.e. talk to their parents about their feelings and life. In my home, it was the other way around, i have always wanted to talk to my parents about how i felt and about life, but i was always shoved aside, they would say they have no time to listen to stupid things.

Hence i have pretty much been alone my whole life as even my bros were too much of guys to want to listen to me and my friends, well i gave them this preceived idea that my relationship with my parents was so good hence i had no problems, reason was i was too embarrassed to tell them the truth.Well this is the start of my childhood, more to come…

~*~ OrDer Of NaTuRe ~*~

There is this one point in ur life where u think that everythin is sorted from now on......this is how i want the rest of my life to be....dont want to change a thing bout it.

And then wat happens.......REALITY CHECK!

All of a sudden u find urself back to the exact same spot where all of this started.....but the only difference now is.....u r hatin urself twice as much.......why??...for botherin. Like all shakespeare plays....whenever the tragic hero (in this case heroin) tries to mess around wit (or change) the Order of Nature....disaster strikes.

Hamlet...the tragic hero.

People think.....'oh my life is so miserable...i wish it was better'... most of these ppl have everythin...wealth, health, LOVE.

So why would they say that......i have no idea......i was one of them tho....every moment of my quite perfect life i use to think my life was miserable and i'd wished it changed.....

And wat did i do.....i changed myself......i changed myself to fit in the crowd.......i changed myself for someone....that someone who was suppose to change my life forever.....for the best.
Why can't i just be one of them...








But wat did i get back in return....a scar....not the kind which can be removed by surgery....no...a scar to my heart...my emotions....my dignity....my life.


At this point.....u r left wit 2 choices...first..u can treat the scar as a beautiful memory and smile bout all the great and "meaninful" time u had spent wit the "scarer"......or ur second choice is.....treat the scar as a scar....and get depressed and cry everytime u think of the "scarer".....


I chose option 1.


So next time u think "oh my life is so miserable...i wish it were better"


Think again.

B is for Blogging...

You mite want to know what got me to start blogging, yes me, the same person who started writing a diary in 2003 and to date, has written a record of 10 entries! well nothing to proud of yeah..atleast i was consistent enough to write an entry on the 1st of January for each of the five years. Kudos to me!

The "unfinished" autobiography....

Well ok back to the reason i am here, well see today being Saturday, my 'chillaxing' day, i slept in and finally at 12pm sat in front of the telly with my breakfast. while skipping through the channels, which we all do best, this 1 show attracted me, it was a talk show on an Indian news channel, called "We The People", very strong statement indeed, and their topic of discussion for today...... u guessed, blogging.

On the show, they had a bunch of famous Indian bloggers, there were a variety of them, one who is known as blogger Foxy Tanya, she is a journalist, wrote an entry about how its not wrong for women to demand sex from their husband/boyfriend, hence calling them nymphomaniac for that is wrong. Dictionary.com defines nymphomaniac as "a woman with abnormal sexual desires". I whole-heartedly agree with Foxy Tanya who claimed "its not women's fault if the men can't keep up with our desires" ....well said may i add!

The next blogger was this cute guy known as Sour Apple Martini, yes...gay! Well he blogs mainly to make friends and to find his true love, yes a boyfriend. This he did clearly post on his blog. Made me wonder....why are lots of the cute guys gay....hmmm.

There are lots of reasons for people to blog, some people use it to de-stress, some of them to counter attack other bloggers, some use it as a cheap way to stand in the limelight (hey nothing wrong with that), some have genuinely something to say for the greater good of the society, some people are just not happy with the world so they use this as their ranting medium and then there are some people like me who woke up one day and started blogging after watching a show about it. what ever the reason may be, lets just all hope that we atleast get one hit, besides our own, on our blog.

ENjoy.